Topic: Misc. stuff (Read 1340 times)

Sis · « **on:** December 20, 2008, 02:11:44 PM »

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

iridiscente · « **Reply #1 on:** December 20, 2008, 06:44:01 PM »

:groan:

SippinTea · « **Reply #2 on:** December 20, 2008, 08:50:45 PM »

Love it.

Sis · « **Reply #3 on:** December 20, 2008, 11:00:36 PM »

One for and one Boooo!

almondjoy · « **Reply #4 on:** December 20, 2008, 11:01:01 PM »

That was great!

Sis · « **Reply #5 on:** December 20, 2008, 11:02:27 PM »

Two for and one Boooo!

BeccaBoo · « **Reply #6 on:** December 23, 2008, 03:49:31 PM »

The Purple Fuzzy · « **Reply #7 on:** December 23, 2008, 04:54:59 PM »

Woo hoo.
Now you and have two for and one boo and one woo hoo.

BeccaBoo · « **Reply #8 on:** December 23, 2008, 08:08:21 PM »

I see 3 for, 1 whoo hoo, and 1 boo...

EricShane · « **Reply #9 on:** January 02, 2009, 04:40:29 AM »

i didnt get it.

The Purple Fuzzy · « **Reply #10 on:** February 19, 2009, 08:22:28 PM »

almondjoy · « **Reply #11 on:** February 19, 2009, 08:27:09 PM »

*sigh*

Thanks for reminding me.

BeccaBoo · « **Reply #12 on:** February 23, 2009, 07:31:41 PM »

Oooo...

I REALLY REALLY like that one...

Gingerale · « **Reply #13 on:** March 30, 2009, 09:50:19 AM »

lololololol. hilarious. ima gunna use it.

Sis · « **Reply #14 on:** October 26, 2009, 07:15:31 AM »

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving fu...rther along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Sis · « **Reply #15 on:** November 21, 2009, 10:12:54 AM »

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. 'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.''How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.

Sis · « **Reply #16 on:** December 10, 2009, 03:00:41 PM »

A man once had a farm that sat on the border of Minnesota, and Iowa. He was always wondering which state his farm was actually in.

One day he had a land surveyor come to find out. After some time the land surveyor came back to the man and informed him that he was a proud owner of an Iowa farm.

With a sigh of relief the... farmer looked back at him and with a smile on his face said, "Yes! No more Minnesota winters!"

samzup · « **Reply #17 on:** March 11, 2010, 02:39:03 AM »

HALLLALUUUARRRR

yosemite · « **Reply #18 on:** March 11, 2010, 02:51:37 AM »

one day a father went to discipline his child and told him "this is gonna hurt me more than you". the child responded and said, " yeah, but not in the same place"!!

The Purple Fuzzy · « **Reply #19 on:** March 11, 2010, 06:31:59 AM »

Quote from: yosemite on March 11, 2010, 02:51:37 AM

one day a father went to discipline his child and told him "this is gonna hurt me more than you". the child responded and said, " yeah, but not in the same place"!!

LOL!

EricShane · « **Reply #20 on:** March 15, 2010, 07:18:40 PM »

Quote from: EricShane on January 02, 2009, 04:40:29 AM

i didnt get it.

over a year later and I just got it! LOL

taco_harvell · « **Reply #21 on:** April 06, 2010, 05:04:34 PM »

The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased with his meal that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.

"Your veal parmigiana is truly superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there!"

"Naturally!" the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!"

yosemite · « **Reply #22 on:** April 09, 2010, 03:38:59 PM »

taco_harvell · « **Reply #23 on:** April 10, 2010, 03:25:33 AM »

Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby.

When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, “I think it’s nice you still call your wife all those pet names.” “To tell you the truth,” his friend said, “I forgot her name abut three years ago.”

yosemite · « **Reply #24 on:** April 10, 2010, 07:31:35 PM »

boy if she ever found out.....

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Author Topic: Misc. stuff (Read 1340 times)